2020 I can't wait to have hindsight.

Where does one even begin? 

The year began like most years, New Year’s Resolutions and new beginnings-- all the razzle dazzle of life, then boom!  Three months into the year Billy lost a tooth. The next day, the world shut down. Needless to say, we all had to stare at Billy’s toothless mouth for months while everyone on planet Earth struggled to grasp a new normal. 

While Billy’s inconvenient dental issues were annoying, we found ourselves feeling very grateful. People we knew were sick with this new unknown disease. Friends were losing jobs, and fear was gripping the hearts of so many. We didn’t turn on the tv much, unless it was to watch something that made us laugh.  We regretted the Tiger King. We baked too many macarons and didn’t eat vegetables. We hiked, and hiked, and hiked. We wore our masks.  We thanked God for jobs, toilet paper, and a roof over our heads.

Nothing has really changed in 6 months. We are still grateful, still figuring out the new normal, still wearing masks…and we remain grateful. Maybe some of us regret all the baking, but at least Billy has started the process to fix his tooth situation. We got a kitten hoping Zoe maybe would forget that she has hardly seen another child since March 15. We started a garden, and we learned that we are amazing potato farmers. We are thankful for the bounty and gladly eat what the the good Lord gave us. We feel afraid at times, when cities are on fire and everyone is angry. We feel sad for the lady who yelled at me “Can’t you read?” at the grocery store for going up the when the arrow said to go down.

The coming months don’t bring clarity, but they do bring confusion. My children’s school schedules (remote, home, on campus) upsets my stomach so much I have to drink Smooth Move Tea at exactly 6 pm every evening.  My new kitten has started scratching the furniture. I still have to buy toilet paper, because we learned that even stock piles eventually run out. My senior might not have a prom, and my college student might not live at college. My homeschooled kid wants everyone to go to school, and my elementary student is tired of hearing me say “go play”. Somehow we still smile. We play a lot of skip-bo, and sit outside talking about nothing and everything. We connect because we have to. We love the time together. Even when it feels like too much sometimes.

There certainly are reasons to be sad and fearful at times, and I’d be a liar if I said I never got sad about this upside-down world we are living in. But every single morning since COVID 19 came onto the scene, God has remained on the throne. Nothing has surprised Him about this disease, the riots, political unrest, and everything else that often surprises me. So sure, I may need to feed myself a macaron or 7, in order to cope, but God really does have His eyes and Hands on the Earth and I will trust Him.

Philippians 4:13

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”